RheumaView™ Insights · Monkey Dance Series · Part VIII · Highland Fling
The dress-code committee was not prepared for a guest who arrived wearing red stockings by birth.
The Highland Games had survived the bagpipes, the weather, and a man who insisted his knees were perfectly regulation.
Then the red-shanked douc langur arrived.
He had red stockings he hadn’t bought, white sleeves he couldn’t take off, and the expression of someone who had never once needed a fitting room.
“Where’s your kilt?” asked the costume inspector.
The douc glanced down at his legs. “You want me to add another colour?”
The music began. He raised his arms in the Highland Fling’s stag-antler pose and launched into the dance.
On a nearby hillside, a stag called its lawyer.
The feet kept flying. The face remained perfectly composed. The bagpiper made the mistake of taking this personally.
One judge wrote footwork. Another wrote posture. The third wrote WHERE CAN I BUY THOSE LEGS?
“Who’s your tailor?” demanded the inspector.
“Evolution.”
“Does he do alterations?”
By the prize ceremony, the stag was requesting royalties, the bagpiper was requesting a shorter set, and the inspector was still looking for the price tag.
First prize: the douc. Second prize: the douc’s legs. Special award for outstanding confusion: the dress-code committee.
Next year’s regulations have already been amended: TRADITIONAL DRESS REQUIRED. BEING BORN IN IT IS NOT CHEATING.
Original fantasy film and essay: Olga Goodman, MD · RheumaView™. Fictional, AI-created dance imagery—not footage of real langurs or an instructional Highland dance performance.
For the cultural reference: ScotDance USA describes a traditional interpretation of the raised arms as a stag’s antlers.
Previously in the Monkey Dance Series: One Last Dance. Please Stop Saying That. · The Spider Pleads Not Guilty.