RheumaView™ Insights · Monkey Dance Series · Part VI · Original fantasy film · 0:30
The spider was nowhere near the terrace. This will matter in court.
On a sunlit Italian terrace, a gibbon in a red skirt raises her tambourine. Her partner, wearing a red cap, raises both arms. Behind them, the musicians make the classic mistake of every musician watching a bad idea unfold: they keep playing.
Someone says “tarantella.” Someone else remembers the old legend about dancing after a spider bite.
Within seconds, the spider has become the prime suspect in an incident involving two gibbons and an alarming amount of percussion.
She spins. He leaps. His arms are long enough to conduct the orchestra from a neighboring postal code. The lemon tree starts making inquiries about relocation.
The guitarist tries to stop. The tambourine votes against it.
Then a lawyer calls on behalf of the spider.
“My client has eight legs,” he says. “If it wanted to dance, why would it subcontract the job to two gibbons?”
A witness asks whether anyone was actually bitten. No one answers. The dancers are busy taking another bow, and the musicians are now playing too fast to remember the question.
After thirty seconds, the terrace is still standing. The spider’s alibi checks out. The tambourine cannot be located for questioning.
Official verdict: Spider acquitted. Gibbons guilty of aggravated tarantella. Tambourine remains at large.
Film and essay: Olga Goodman, MD · RheumaView™. Fictional AI-generated animal performance. The historical spider-bite “cure” is folklore, not a medical treatment. Background: Wellcome Collection.
Previous adventures: The Pub Would Like Its Floor Back · Going Dutch · The New Artistic Director Has a Tail.